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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Just landed via Messenger:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Spotted on Telegram:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Live now on X:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Spotted on Threads:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Just shared via WeChat:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Reported on Facebook:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just shared via Twitch:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Home » Funny Newspapers Quotes

Funny newspapers quotes

Funny newspapers quotes bring a hilarious twist to the daily news 🗞️😂, turning serious headlines into moments of pure joy! From witty one-liners to clever puns, these gems make reading the paper way more entertaining 🎉📰. Ready to smile through the chaos of current events? Let’s dive into some laugh-out-loud moments that prove humor is the best headline! 😄✨

New funny newspapers quotes 👇

For even more funny newspapers quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny newspapers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2246 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,408

Funny Quotes Topics

15,116

Funny Quotes Images

12,408

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Spotted on Threads:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Just shared via Twitch:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Live now on TikTok:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Trending via WeChat:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

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