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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Just landed via Discord:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Making waves on Messenger:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Shared recently on X:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Just shared via Threads:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Just shared via WeChat:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Shared recently on Slack:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Funny newspapers quotes

Funny newspapers quotes bring a hilarious twist to the daily news 🗞️😂, turning serious headlines into moments of pure joy! From witty one-liners to clever puns, these gems make reading the paper way more entertaining 🎉📰. Ready to smile through the chaos of current events? Let’s dive into some laugh-out-loud moments that prove humor is the best headline! 😄✨

New funny newspapers quotes 👇

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

0

2 months ago

cat, communication, dogs, fetch, humor, i, internet, irony, newspapers, pets, sorry, technology
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, necessity, newspaper, newspapers, old, paper, pun, ran, resourcefulness, rough, rough times, start, times, toilet, toilet paper

All funny newspapers quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

58 shares on Slack this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

69 shares on Discord this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

48 shares on X this month:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

85 shares on X this month:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,416

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Going viral on YouTube:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Spotted on YouTube:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Spotted on Threads:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

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