Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Most of my shoulder workout comes from shrugging when people ask me questions.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Just landed via WeChat:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Trending via Messenger:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Just shared via X:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Seen just now on X:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Just landed via X:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Going viral on WeChat:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Funny nonconformity quotes

Funny nonconformity quotes 🤪 celebrate the joy of marching to your own beat 🥁 and breaking free from the crowd 🚀. They remind us that being different isn’t just okay—it’s downright hilarious and empowering 😂! Ready to laugh at the quirks of standing out and embracing your unique vibe? Let’s dive into some witty words that champion the art of not fitting in 🎉✨.

New funny nonconformity quotes 👇

All funny nonconformity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

95 shares on X this month:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

69 shares on WeChat this month:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Spotted on Discord:

I’ll never be badass enough to walk around chewing on a toothpick.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Broadcasted on X:

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

Going viral on TikTok:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

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