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procrastination

self-deprecation

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Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

3 months ago

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If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain. - 98 shares on WhatsApp this week.
90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round. - 93 shares on Facebook this week.
They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year. - 82 shares on Messenger this week.
Every single bad day happened because I woke up. - 41 shares on YouTube this week.
I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it. - 65 shares on WeChat this week.

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8,732 funny quotes and pics

11,852 funny quotes topics

Updated: 2 days ago

Trending Funny Quotes 🔥

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was. - 14 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later. - 20 folks are currently viewing this quote.
How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere? - 15 folks are currently viewing this quote.
My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that. - 17 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now. - 19 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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activity communication day family food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need never parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work

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