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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Spotted on Discord:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Going viral on Slack:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Freshly posted on X:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Breaking via Threads:

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Funny open-mindedness quotes

New funny open-mindedness quotes 👇

All funny open-mindedness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

78 shares on Slack this month:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

47 shares on TikTok this month:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Picking up the hem of my baggy pants to walk up the stairs like it’s a ballgown.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Live now on TikTok:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Live now on YouTube:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

Just landed via TikTok:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

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