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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Live now on Reddit:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Trending via YouTube:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Just shared via Slack:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Going viral on Slack:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Funny Oxford quotes

New funny Oxford quotes 👇

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

6 days ago

comma, education, humor, irony, Oxford, sarcasm, wit

All funny Oxford quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Messenger this month:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

66 shares on Twitch this month:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

53 shares on X this month:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

94 shares on Threads this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Going viral on X:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Just shared via Instagram:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Trending via Facebook:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Just landed via Facebook:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Oxford quotes

New funny Oxford quotes 👇

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

All funny Oxford quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨