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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Making waves on Discord:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Making waves on Instagram:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Shared recently on Discord:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Just landed via YouTube:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Funny past life quotes

Funny past life quotes bring a hilarious twist to the idea of reincarnation and soul journeys 🌀😂 Whether you’re imagining yourself as a medieval knight or a disco diva from another era, these witty sayings add a splash of humor to the mystery of our mysterious pasts 🎭✨ Ready to laugh through time and explore your quirky soul story? Let’s dive into some playful vibes that prove life’s never boring—no matter the century! 😄⏳

New funny past life quotes 👇

All funny past life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

55 shares on Threads this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Going viral on Reddit:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Just landed via Threads:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Seen just now on Facebook:

The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Breaking via Telegram:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Live now on Instagram:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

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