Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Trending via Slack:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Going viral on Threads:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Smithereens is the worst way to get blown.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on YouTube:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Going viral on Threads:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Going viral on Reddit:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Funny patriot quotes

New funny patriot quotes 👇

All funny patriot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Discord this month:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s unfortunate that scrubbing the floors on your hands and knees is so much more effective than mopping.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

94 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

32 shares on X this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My OnlyFans is just me loading the dishwasher correctly.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Just landed via Threads:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Spotted on TikTok:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Live now on YouTube:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Just landed via Telegram:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Just shared via TikTok:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Going viral on TikTok:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Just landed via Reddit:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴