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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

Spotted on X:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Going bananas on Threads:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Spotted on Slack:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

11 Funny paycheck quotes

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on TikTok this month:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

84 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

87 shares on X this month:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfollowers, take me with you!

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Shared recently on X:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Just landed via Discord:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Breaking via Reddit:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Going viral on Facebook:

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Spotted on Discord:

Imagine trying to ruin my day and I ignore you for the rest of my life.

Just landed via Reddit:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

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