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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,661

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Just shared via YouTube:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Shared recently on Messenger:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Just landed via X:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Just landed via Facebook:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Just shared via TikTok:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Funny pick-up line quotes

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New funny pick-up line quotes 👇

All funny pick-up line quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Twitch this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

89 shares on Telegram this month:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

88 shares on Slack this month:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

100 shares on X this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Nosferatu 2024, Frankenstein 2025, and Werwulf 2026. I was born at exactly the right time.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Making waves on Messenger:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Making waves on Facebook:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Spotted on YouTube:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Seen just now on X:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Spotted on Instagram:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

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