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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Some Uber rides in NYC are the same price as a JetBlue flight to Miami.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Just shared via Threads:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Breaking via Threads:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Just shared via Facebook:

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

Funny pick-up line quotes

Funny pick-up line quotes are the perfect recipe for laughs and flirty vibes 😄💬 Whether you’re breaking the ice or just want to brighten someone’s day, these witty one-liners bring charm and cheekiness in equal measure 😉🔥 Ready to up your flirting game with a smile? Dive into a world where humor meets heart, and awkward moments turn into unforgettable laughs! 😂💘

New funny pick-up line quotes 👇

All funny pick-up line quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

Meow means woof in cat.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

26 shares on X this month:

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

95 shares on X this month:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Spotted on Twitch:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Shared recently on Discord:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Breaking via Twitch:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Spotted on YouTube:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Making waves on X:

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

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