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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Earth is hard.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Reported on Threads:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Making waves on Facebook:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Trending via Telegram:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Live now on Twitch:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Trending via Messenger:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Just shared via Messenger:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Reported on Messenger:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Just shared via X:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Just shared via WeChat:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

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