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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I was told to be more optimistic so I’ve decided french fries aren’t bad for me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Seen just now on X:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Going viral on WeChat:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Making waves on Threads:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Funny portion size quotes

New funny portion size quotes 👇

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

1 month ago

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All funny portion size quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Live now on Pinterest:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

Going viral on Snapchat:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Making waves on WeChat:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Trending via TikTok:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Trending via Telegram:

Going on dates is hard because do I like them or do I just have sooo much fun being me.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

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Funny portion size quotes

New funny portion size quotes 👇

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

All funny portion size quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨