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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Just heard my knee crack so loud I expected it to glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to adult today, I just want to dog. I’ll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,962

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Spotted on Threads:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just landed via Discord:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Making waves on Facebook:

All I’m saying is that big burgers should be wider not taller.

Just shared via X:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Breaking via X:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Spotted on Twitch:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Home » Funny Post-standing Quotes

Funny post-standing quotes

New funny post-standing quotes 👇

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

0

3 weeks ago

clarity, hindsight, humor, i, post-standing, post-standing clarity, self-reflection, sitting, standing, time, whole

All funny post-standing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

91 shares on X this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

63 shares on Discord this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

30 shares on WeChat this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

63 shares on X this month:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

82 shares on Threads this month:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Making waves on Threads:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Shared recently on Discord:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Just landed via WeChat:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Spotted on Twitch:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny post-standing quotes

New funny post-standing quotes 👇

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

All funny post-standing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨