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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Broadcasted on X:

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Just shared via Telegram:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Every day, I’m gaslit into oblivion by beautiful women, and then I go to sleep.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

98 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Nothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Elevator music is bad on so many levels.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,747

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Making waves on Threads:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Seen just now on Instagram:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Spotted on WeChat:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Just landed via Twitch:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

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