Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Trending via Telegram:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Seen just now on X:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Just shared via X:

Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.

Just shared via Twitch:

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Making waves on Discord:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Live now on Reddit:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Going viral on Pinterest:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Funny presidential quotes

Funny presidential quotes 😄 bring a hilarious twist to history’s most powerful speeches! From unexpected wit to charming blunders, these gems remind us leaders aren’t just serious suits—they’ve got a playful side too 🎉. Whether you’re a history buff or just love a good laugh, get ready to smile and see politics in a whole new light 💬✨!

New funny presidential quotes 👇

All funny presidential quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Threads this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

35 shares on Messenger this month:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

36 shares on Threads this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Shared recently on Discord:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Making waves on YouTube:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Just shared via Discord:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Breaking via Discord:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

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