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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Just landed via Threads:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

They should invent a man who is being genuine when he says things to me.

Breaking via TikTok:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Just landed via YouTube:

You are the Monday of my life.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

Funny presidential quotes

Funny presidential quotes 😄 bring a hilarious twist to history’s most powerful speeches! From unexpected wit to charming blunders, these gems remind us leaders aren’t just serious suits—they’ve got a playful side too 🎉. Whether you’re a history buff or just love a good laugh, get ready to smile and see politics in a whole new light 💬✨!

New funny presidential quotes 👇

All funny presidential quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

60 shares on Telegram this month:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

84 shares on X this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

28 shares on X this month:

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

What base is it when he says, “I know you need it badly,” but he’s talking about sleep?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Breaking via Reddit:

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Trending via Threads:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Just shared via WeChat:

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Trending via Slack:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

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