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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“You’re just mad my gut microbiome is way more diverse and complex than yours.”

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Shared recently on X:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Breaking via Discord:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Trending via Reddit:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Just landed via Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Making waves on Twitch:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Live now on WeChat:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Breaking via Threads:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Funny pubic quotes

New funny pubic quotes 👇

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

3 weeks ago

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All funny pubic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

23 shares on X this month:

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Asking him what his favorite dinosaur is on the first date to determine compatibility.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Going viral on Discord:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Live now on Threads:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Just shared via Slack:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Spotted on Pinterest:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

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Funny pubic quotes

New funny pubic quotes 👇

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

All funny pubic quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨