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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Just landed via Instagram:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

Just shared via Slack:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Shared recently on Slack:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just landed via Facebook:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Going viral on X:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

44 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Going viral on Reddit:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Live now on Threads:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

Making waves on Slack:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Live now on Reddit:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Trending via WeChat:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

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