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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

25 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Making waves on WeChat:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Seen just now on Instagram:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Just shared via Reddit:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Home » Funny Pursue Quotes

Funny pursue quotes

New funny pursue quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Commentary:
"Oh, the elusive pursuit of a career! 🏃‍♂️ Sometimes it feels like we're the ones doing all the chasing, doesn't it? 🤷‍♀️ Maybe it's time to turn the tables and play hard to get with those job offers! 😜💼 #ChaseMeIfYouCan"

For even more funny pursue quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pursue quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

25 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Live now on Discord:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Spotted on Facebook:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Spotted on Threads:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Just shared via Instagram:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Shared recently on Discord:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Reported on Telegram:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Just shared via Reddit:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

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