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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I like my women like I like my glasses: thick, transparent, and uneven.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Trending via Twitch:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Reported on Facebook:

My love language is being sent money.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Just shared via Threads:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Just landed via Twitch:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Live now on Snapchat:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Making waves on Discord:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Just shared via Reddit:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Just shared via Slack:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Just shared via Instagram:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Making waves on Facebook:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

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