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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Just landed via Twitch:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Making waves on Threads:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Live now on TikTok:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Trending via WeChat:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Making waves on Facebook:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Called in, “Hey, macarena!” this morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Trending via Slack:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Just landed via WeChat:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Broadcasted on X:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Just shared via Twitch:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Going viral on TikTok:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

Shared recently on Slack:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Going viral on Slack:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

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