Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the fine art of pretending to be calm and collected in front of an audience 🙄 Patience and forbearance become your new best friends when the spectators are watching your every move! 😂 #PerformanceModeActivated"
37 Funny self-control quotes
Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?
Commentary:
"Grocery shopping: where good intentions meet chocolate-filled marshmallows 🍫🤷♂️ Who can resist a delicious detour down the snack aisle? Just blame it on the 'grocery store temptation'! 😅"
If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Do you go for the snacks and embrace temporary happiness 🍫 or resist temptation and spiral into a pit of despair? 😩 It's a tough call, but remember: in snack we trust! 😂 #SnackLife"
I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.
Commentary:
☕️ "I'm on my fifth cup of coffee today – you should consider yourself lucky I can still form coherent sentences around you. You're welcome for my caffeine-fueled kindness." 😜
Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.
Commentary:
"Emotions? Sorry, they're not on my current menu! 🚫😅 Trying to reduce my daily intake of drama and ups-and-downs! Who needs emotions when you've got a strong WiFi signal and a good cup of coffee? ☕️💻 #EmotionallyDetoxing"
Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.
Commentary:
"Kudos to the resealable chocolate bag for believing in us when we can't even trust ourselves! 🍫😂 Who knew a snack could provide so much motivation and then disappear in a moment of weakness? #ChocolateConfessions"
Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.
Commentary:
Rules are rules, and my imaginary committee takes them VERY seriously! 🎩📜😂