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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Trending via Telegram:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Just landed via Pinterest:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Breaking via Slack:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Just landed via Reddit:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

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Funny Shakespearean quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Delightful if true: booby trap.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Just shared via Reddit:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My life is based on a true story.

Going viral on Instagram:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Spotted on Facebook:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Making waves on Messenger:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

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