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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Messenger:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Live now on Instagram:

My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Trending via Snapchat:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Seen just now on Messenger:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Just landed via WeChat:

Accidentally blurted out “skip intro” when my mother-in-law wasn’t getting to the point.

Reported on Reddit:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Making waves on WeChat:

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

Home » Funny Sinister Quotes

Funny sinister quotes

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All funny sinister quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Live now on Slack:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Going viral on Facebook:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Trending via TikTok:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

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