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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Canceled a date for a date with another guy, and that guy canceled. It’s what I deserve.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,705

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

Going viral on Instagram:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Seen just now on Discord:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Just shared via Slack:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Just shared via Messenger:

My favorite color is money.

Funny skinny jeans quotes

Funny skinny jeans quotes are a stylish way to lighten up the fashion conversation! 👖✨ From the trials of fitting into those snug denim wonders to the amusing mishaps that come with them, these quotes bring a playful twist to your wardrobe woes. Get ready for some laughter as we dive into the snug world of skinny jeans! 😂👖

New funny skinny jeans quotes 👇

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, expectation, fashion, humor, image, jean, jeans, kick, skinny, skinny jean, skinny jeans, style

All funny skinny jeans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

99 shares on Threads this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

46 shares on Twitch this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Breaking via Discord:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Trending via Slack:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Seen just now on Slack:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Just landed via Reddit:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Trending via Reddit:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

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