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6 months ago
Share →: Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

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"Why call them sea lions when they're basically just soggy doggies trying to be fancy with their roar-roar instead of woof-woof? 🌊🦁🐶 #SoggyDoggies"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

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Reported on LinkedIn:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

This year is starting to feel like it needs to be left outside until we see if it can act right.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Just shared via Telegram:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Reported on YouTube:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

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They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Math is like Chinese to me.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

I’m only dead on the outside.

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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