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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Watermelon. The fruit that comes with a workout.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Just shared via X:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Making waves on Instagram:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Breaking via Instagram:

The older I get, no.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Trending via TikTok:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Breaking via X:

We interrupt coverage of one horrible story for breaking news of another horrible story.

Funny store name quotes

New funny store name quotes 👇

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

3 weeks ago

ahead, bargain, couple, discount, dollar, Dollar Tree, dollars, humor, joke, just, money, name, needs, price, retail, shopping, store, store name, tree

All funny store name quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

I was dropped as an adult.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

10 shares on Threads this month:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

84 shares on Telegram this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Shared recently on Discord:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Breaking via WeChat:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Breaking via Telegram:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Just shared via X:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Just shared via Messenger:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny store name quotes

New funny store name quotes 👇

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

All funny store name quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨