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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Making waves on Threads:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Spreading quickly via X:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Going viral on Messenger:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1888 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,050

Funny Quotes Topics

14,836

Funny Quotes Images

12,050

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Trending via Twitch:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Just landed via X:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Making waves on TikTok:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Just shared via Discord:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Going viral on WeChat:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Just shared via Threads:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Going viral on WeChat:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

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