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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

‘I love reading!’ says the woman who loves owning books.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Making waves on YouTube:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Live now on Telegram:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Going viral on Discord:

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

Spotted on Messenger:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Breaking via Instagram:

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Just landed via WeChat:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Funny Suella Braverman quotes

New funny Suella Braverman quotes 👇

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

3 weeks ago

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All funny Suella Braverman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

85 shares on X this month:

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I would like even faster food.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Breaking via Twitch:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Breaking via TikTok:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny Suella Braverman quotes

New funny Suella Braverman quotes 👇

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

All funny Suella Braverman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨