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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,738

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Just shared via YouTube:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Just landed via Reddit:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Breaking via Instagram:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Just shared via Telegram:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Going bananas on Discord:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

12 Funny sweater quotes

More funny sweater quotes 👇

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

3 weeks ago

being, clothing, congratulations, disgust, fashion, humor, name, piece, sweater, year
Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

3 weeks ago

autumn, beanie, cozy, excited, excitement, fall, fashion, feel, i, oh, oversized, sweater, Ugg, wear

For even more funny sweater quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sweater quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

39 shares on Telegram this month:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Just landed via X:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Just landed via TikTok:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Spotted on Pinterest:

How do you text “okay” but in the rudest way possible?

Live now on Facebook:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

12 Funny sweater quotes

More funny sweater quotes 👇

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

All funny sweater quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨