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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Just landed via TikTok:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Freshly posted on X:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Just shared via Facebook:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Just shared via Instagram:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Funny telecommuting quotes

New funny telecommuting quotes 👇

All funny telecommuting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on WeChat this month:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

If you relate to me, get some help!

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

74 shares on X this month:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Just shared via Slack:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Going viral on YouTube:

Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Making waves on TikTok:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

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