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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Shared recently on X:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Making waves on Twitch:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Trending via Instagram:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Reported on Telegram:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Reported on Discord:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Shared recently on Twitch:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

796 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,958

Funny Quotes Topics

13,929

Funny Quotes Images

10,958

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Freshly posted on X:

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Trending via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Reported on Reddit:

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

Just landed via WeChat:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

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