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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Live now on X:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Shared recently on Threads:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Going viral on TikTok:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Trending via Pinterest:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Just landed via Slack:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Spotted on Facebook:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

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