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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Trending via Facebook:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Making waves on Discord:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Reported on Reddit:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

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Funny unexpected job quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Trending via Facebook:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Spotted on X:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

Seen just now on Slack:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Eating spaghetti to forgetti my regretti.

Just shared via X:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

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