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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I was young, I was afraid of the dark. Now, these bills got me afraid of the light.

Shared recently on Slack:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Breaking via WeChat:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Just shared via Discord:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Just landed via Instagram:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Going viral on Instagram:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremedous boredom.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Going viral on Threads:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Live now on WeChat:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

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