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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2400 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,562

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,562

30 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

Trending via X:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Trending via LinkedIn:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Just shared via WeChat:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Reported on Facebook:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Breaking via Instagram:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Trending via Messenger:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Jan 22, 2025

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it ironic how Twitter turned all the nonsense swirling in our minds into a global circus? 🤪🎪🐦 Just imagine all the random thoughts and hot takes that were trapped in there before – poor brains must have been so overcrowded! Thanks, Twitter, for providing an outlet for our nonsensical banter! 😂 #TwitterHumor

before, came, communication, heads, just, media, nonsense, people’s, people’s heads, social, social media, thoughts, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share → : Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.
1 week ago
Share → : When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : “Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.
Jan 20, 2025
Share → : Single in the womb, single till the tomb!
1 month ago
Share → : I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.
Jan 26, 2025
Share → : Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.
2 months ago
Share → : The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2400 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,562

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,562

30 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WeChat:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Reported on Telegram:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Shared recently on X:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Going viral on Threads:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Just landed via Discord:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Just landed via Instagram:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Trending via WeChat:

On today’s family vacation agenda: my parents read the internet out loud.

Live now on Telegram:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

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