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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Going viral on Facebook:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Just shared via WeChat:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Just shared via X:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

2 months ago

0

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a couch when you have a loaf? 🍞🛋️ #BreadIsTheBestListener

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

0

2 months ago

body, burial, crime, endangered, follow, gardening, humor, illegal, joke, me, plant, tip
If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

0

2 months ago

am, catch, chances, humor, i, me, mischief, plotting, revenge, sarcasm, smiling, wit
I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

0

2 months ago

December, delivery, holiday, humor, i, junk, last, neighbor, neighbors, parcel, refusal, year
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

0

2 months ago

apple, cute, day, doctor, forget, fruit, health, humor, joke, relationship
Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

0

2 months ago

cry, extra, hour, humor, over, reflection, think
To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

0

2 months ago

bottle, car, cupholder, humor, marriage, new, passenger, practicality, relationship, seat, size, water, water bottle, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on X this month:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

21 shares on Threads this month:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

74 shares on Threads this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Making waves on Pinterest:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Going viral on Facebook:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Breaking via Discord:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Going viral on Threads:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

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