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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My favourite yoga pose is the one where you lay really still and do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Going viral on WeChat:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Going viral on X:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Breaking via Facebook:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Making waves on Telegram:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who needs a couch when you have a loaf? 🍞🛋️ #BreadIsTheBestListener

bread, comfort, comfort food, food, garlic, garlic bread, humor, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

0

2 months ago

fine, geology, humor, patience, rocks, sarcasm, science, things, time
Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

0

2 months ago

animal, back, caught, feeling, humor, just, lighthearted, miyagi, moth, mr., Mr. Miyagi, nature, outdoor, outside, sent, sent back
The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

0

2 months ago

chores, cleaning, house, housework, humor, minute, procrastination, sit, thing, tidying, worst
Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

0

2 months ago

asked, autumn, civilization, collapse, fall, humor, i, me, meant, misunderstanding, moment, plans, realize, sarcasm, seasonal, someone
People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

0

2 months ago

am, day, five-year, five-year plan, forgetfulness, having, here, hoping, humor, i, just, life, life planning, people, plan, planning, plans, remember, waking, waking up
Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

0

2 months ago

aging, favorite, favorite item, getting, getting older, having, humor, item, older, pen, preferences, stationery

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

48 shares on Discord this month:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

33 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Seen just now on YouTube:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Just landed via WeChat:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Just landed via Threads:

I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn’t even know they knew how to knit.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Going viral on Slack:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Freshly posted on X:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Live now on Pinterest:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Spotted on Facebook:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Things will be fine, eventually—in thousands of years—for rocks.

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨