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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,302

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Broadcasted on Slack:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Making waves on WeChat:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Just landed via Slack:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Trending via Telegram:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

0
Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.
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Commentary:
Looks like those sneaky lamps are just trying to outsmart us with their age-old genie charade! 🧞‍♂️ Watch out for those wily lamps, they're always up to something mischievous! 🔮✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

72 shares on X this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Cancel culture has been canceled.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,552

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My mom is asking each ornament, “Where do you want to live?” before putting them on the tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Just shared via X:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Live now on Snapchat:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Shared recently on X:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

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