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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Trending via Snapchat:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

Shared recently on TikTok:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Just shared via Slack:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Just landed via Threads:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Spotted on Telegram:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Shared recently on Threads:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Shared recently on Discord:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Trending via WhatsApp:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Making waves on X:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

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Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Honestly, SpongeBob's secret formula isn’t just Krabby Patties, it's pure perseverance! 🍔💪🤣 #AbsorbentAndUnstoppable"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

15 shares on Slack this month:

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

47 shares on Discord this month:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really do one-night stands, but I will do, like, 3-8 months of a semi-toxic, undefined relationship that wastes my time and ruins my life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Going viral on Pinterest:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Spotted on Threads:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Making waves on WeChat:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Going viral on Telegram:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Trending via Telegram:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

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