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Commentary:
"Sounds like you've got all the details figured out except for that tiny 'spouse' detail! 🤷‍♂️ May your search for the missing puzzle piece be as exciting as planning the wedding itself! 💍🕵️"

commitment, engagement, getting, humor, just, love, marriage, married, need, relationship, soon, spouse, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

1 month ago
am, confusion, even, five, five years, future, humor, i, know, life, myself, present, right, self-reflection, uncertainty, where, year’s
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

1 month ago
able, forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, own, party, plan, sarcasm, surprise, surprise party, worse
Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

1 month ago
advice, communication, humor, opening, people, scam, trust
Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

1 month ago
anything, best, best shot, bot, creativity, give, humor, ID, ignore, instructions, life, me, onions, poem, real, real life, saying, shot, someone, told, whatever
Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

1 month ago
bad, bathroom, combination, having, household, humor, inconvenience, joke, outside, practical, practical joke, sibling, switch
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

1 month ago
advice, bite, context, feeds, hand, hands, humor, just, qualify

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Trending via TikTok:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Just shared via Facebook:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Spotted on Snapchat:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Going viral on Messenger:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

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Activity Log ✨

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

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Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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