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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

“It gets to a point” is one of my favourite phrases because it literally does get to a point sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

13 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Spotted on TikTok:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Reported on Pinterest:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Broadcasted on X:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Just shared via Reddit:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Trending via Slack:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Seen just now on Slack:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

6 months ago

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal feline naming dilemma: Should Fluffy channel the majestic vibes of Athena or embrace the spicy allure of Crunchwrap Supreme? 🐱👑🌮 Decisions, decisions… To goddess or to taco, that is the question! 😹 #CatsVersusTacos"

after, ancient, bell, boy, cat, cats, girl, goddess, humor, items, menu, names, pets, stereotypes, taco, Taco Bell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2244 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,406

Funny Quotes Topics

15,110

Funny Quotes Images

12,406

13 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Reported on Messenger:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Making waves on Messenger:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Just landed via Twitch:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Reported on Reddit:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Making waves on Telegram:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

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