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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Old people be like “no elbows on the table, it’s rude” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

58 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Limbo is the only sport where being really bad at it means you’re raising the bar.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Jan 20, 2025

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of romance: bad boys to fix, good girls to corrupt… and then there's our unconventional friend here, dreaming of a mischievous monkey in a tuxedo bringing him his tea 🐵☕️ Who needs traditional love stories when you can have a rumbustious butler monkey stirring up chaos in the hallway!"

bad, bad boy, boy, boys, butler, fix, girl, good, good girl, humor, i, just, me, monkey, relationship, rumbustious, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

58 minutes ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Just landed via Slack:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Breaking via Pinterest:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Making waves on Threads:

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Just landed via X:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

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