Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal dilemma of romance: bad boys to fix, good girls to corrupt… and then there's our unconventional friend here, dreaming of a mischievous monkey in a tuxedo bringing him his tea 🐵☕️ Who needs traditional love stories when you can have a rumbustious butler monkey stirring up chaos in the hallway!"

bad, bad boy, boy, boys, butler, fix, girl, good, good girl, humor, i, just, me, monkey, relationship, rumbustious, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

1 month ago
affection, asleep, exhaustion, fall, humor, i, joke, love, relationship, sleep
Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

1 month ago
alcohol, anxiety, humor, introvert, me, personality, social, social anxiety, vodka
Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

1 month ago
better, hear, house, humor, i, parking, parking spot, radio, someone, spot, sunglasses, take, turn
I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

1 month ago
chef, cook, cooking, cooking fail, dinner, fail, food, humor, kitchen, mess, pan
I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

1 month ago
aspiration, grow, grow up, humor, idea, kid, kids, love, tell
Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

1 month ago
brag, call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, service, waiting

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Just shared via Instagram:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Going viral on Facebook:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Just landed via YouTube:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Me: I’m an introvert. Vodka: No, you’re not.

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏