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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has bookmarked:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,682

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on X:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Just shared via Messenger:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

Just landed via TikTok:

Old people get so mad when youโ€™re young and tired.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Just shared via Threads:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Witty quote about how going out two days straight feels like an extreme sport.
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Commentary:
"Who needs extreme sports when you can tackle the treacherous terrain of socializing two days in a row? ๐Ÿ˜‚โ›ท๏ธ Remember to stay hydrated and be prepared for the post-event recovery period! ๐Ÿš‘๐Ÿ’ฅ"

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

36 shares on X this month:

My kids didnโ€™t follow me into the bathroom so now Iโ€™m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Signatures are so unserious, just โ€œpinky promiseโ€ for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Ainโ€™t no way thereโ€™s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone says โ€œDo what makes you happyโ€, until you push them down the stairs.

58 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of โ€˜functioning adultโ€™.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Donโ€™t ever forget where you came from. Thatโ€™s where you left your car.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, thereโ€™s really nothing we can do.

18 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you like constant interruptions when youโ€™re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,762

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Does everyoneโ€™s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Did you know? By replacing your coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 92% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Trending via WeChat:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Just landed via Messenger:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Donโ€™t suffer in silence. Make it everyoneโ€™s problem.

Seen just now on Slack:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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