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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Right now somebodyโ€™s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because itโ€™s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has copied:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who donโ€™t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Breaking via Slack:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Trending via Snapchat:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their headโ€” it expired.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Going viral on YouTube:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Spotted on X:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Going viral on Reddit:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the modern way to stargaze ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ“ฑ! Who needs constellations when you have YouTube, right? ๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ“บ #TechSavvyKids #StarryScreenTime"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2385 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,547

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,547

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

Sorry, Iโ€™m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Too self-aware for foreplay. Iโ€™m so sorryโ€ฆ Take that nurse costume off. I know you didnโ€™t go to med school.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Reported on Pinterest:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Live now on WeChat:

Donโ€™t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Spotted on Slack:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Trending via Slack:

If you see me out in public but we havenโ€™t talked since high school, letโ€™s keep it that way.

Live now on YouTube:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

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