Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.
  • That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
  • People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?
  • “I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.
  • Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.
  • That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.