Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

428 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,697

Funny Quotes Topics

17,713

Funny Quotes Images

15,697

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Going bananas on Slack:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Spreading quickly via X:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Going viral on TikTok:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Trending via WeChat:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Grok, put light in her eyes.

20 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your phone is at 1% and you find a charger just in time ⚡️😅🔋

eyes, grok, humor, light, put

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

2 months ago

anything, communication, confidence, honesty, honesty in communication, humor, humor about speech, i, intelligent, let, me, personality, say, self-awareness, sometimes, speech, stop
My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

2 weeks ago

beam, goal, humor, light, new, new year, powerful, resolution, year
You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

4 weeks ago

acquaintance, again, casual, casual acquaintance, chill, day, interaction, life, lol, never, social, social interaction, someone, university, whole
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

3 months ago

cookie, humor, i, indulgence, just, minute, movie, procrastination, self-deception, tell
I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

4 months ago

butt, humor, i, know, naked, never, people, privacy, secret, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Spotted on Discord:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Making waves on Twitch:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Shared recently on Slack:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Shared recently on Discord:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes I don’t have anything intelligent to say and sometimes I don’t let that stop me.

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨