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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I love a touchy-feely man. Like, yes, please keep your hands on me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Making waves on Threads:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Just landed via Threads:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Just landed via Instagram:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Babe, you have to believe me. I followed that porn star because I like her political views.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Just landed via Discord:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Trending via Telegram:

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Grok, put light in her eyes.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about inspiring love, with a witty twist on illumination and connection.

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Commentary:
When your phone is at 1% and you find a charger just in time ⚡️😅🔋

eyes, grok, humor, light, put

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

77 shares on X this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

29 shares on Messenger this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

31 shares on Discord this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

24 shares on Threads this month:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Thank you, moon, for staying awake so late.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Seen just now on WeChat:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Spotted on Telegram:

She’s the kind of beautiful that makes me do 40 push-ups in my room at 3am.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Freshly posted on X:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, put light in her eyes.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨