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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Making waves on Facebook:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Making waves on X:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Broadcasted on Slack:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Shared recently on X:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

Trending via Instagram:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Live now on Pinterest:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Breaking via TikTok:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Grok, put light in her eyes.

11 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about inspiring love, with a witty twist on illumination and connection.

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Commentary:
When your phone is at 1% and you find a charger just in time ⚡️😅🔋

eyes, grok, humor, light, put

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24 shares on Slack this month:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

21 shares on Threads this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

41 shares on Threads this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Just landed via YouTube:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Going viral on WeChat:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Shared recently on Discord:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Trending via Twitch:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dear Santa, Money!

Seen just now on YouTube:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

Breaking via WeChat:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨