Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.