Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Whoever said you can't have your candy and eat it too clearly never heard of the Halloween salad bowl diet! It's all about balance… and a little bit of trick-or-treating magic."

bad, bowl, candy, diet, Halloween, health, humor, salad, sweet, treat, trick, trick or treat

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

For the record, I use a turntable.

0

2 months ago

activity, fun, fun activity, hobby, i, music, nostalgia, record, turntable
The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

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2 months ago

conflict, day, desire, internal, internal conflict, just, laziness, motivation, nap, productive, productivity, rest, struggle, wanting
Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

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2 months ago

back, happy, home, humor, just, later, me, normal, person, talk
Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

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2 months ago

am, before, communication, honesty, humor, i, just, shocked, speak, spontaneity, think, unfortunately
I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

0

2 months ago

child, correction, disappointed, disappointment, education, family, help, home, homework, humor, i, incorrect, kid, parent
Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

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2 months ago

before, clean, friendship, honesty, humor, relationship, tidy, visitors

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

37 shares on X this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Did it make you feel powerful when you didn’t let me merge onto the highway?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Live now on Slack:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Just landed via Threads:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park, but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.

Just shared via Slack:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

For the record, I use a turntable.

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨