Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like this handyman isn't auditioning for a role in the customer's DIY reality show! 🎥😂 Remember folks, he's here to fix, not to entertain! 🔧💡"

actor, customer, handyman, humor, i, joke, me, profession, remark, repair, wanted, watch, witty, witty remark, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

0

2 months ago

advice, communication, counseling, couples, couples counseling, girlfriend, humor, i, knows, relationship, should, therapist, therapy, try, wrong
Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

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2 months ago

diet, fat, health, humor, joke, mosquito
I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

0

2 months ago

believe, communication, digital, digital life, email, emails, humor, i, life, message, something, technology, tell, trying, us
Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

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2 months ago

complain, fingered, humor, irony, moan, relationship, size, why, women
I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

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2 months ago

awkward, embarrassment, hate, head, hit, hug, i, mirror, self-love, sexy, someone
He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

0

2 months ago

$10, dating, humor, personality, relationship, traits, volume

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

78 shares on X this month:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

12 shares on Slack this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Making waves on TikTok:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Just landed via Facebook:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Seen just now on X:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨