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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Spotted on Instagram:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life is like a game of chess. I don’t enjoy it very much.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate when I’m trying to spell a word, and my phone can’t do it either.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being a writer means knowing exactly how your story ends, and having absolutely no idea how to get there.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Just shared via Messenger:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Have you tried complaining about it?

2 months ago

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Complaining: the original customer service hotline 😂📞

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried

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15 shares on Messenger this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

55 shares on Slack this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

21 shares on X this month:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Making waves on Instagram:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Just landed via Slack:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Breaking via Messenger:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Breaking via YouTube:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Breaking via Reddit:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

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Activity Log ✨

Have you tried complaining about it?

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Have you tried complaining about it?

Keep the laugh going 😂

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

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