Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Going viral on Telegram:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Just shared via Slack:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Spotted on Instagram:

Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Seen just now on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Breaking via Messenger:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about parenthood: chaotic and messy, like a perpetual frat house with lots of mishaps.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having children is basically like being the president of a frat house – except you can't resign, the messes are smaller but smellier, and the parties never end. Cheers to parenthood, where sleep is a distant memory and throwing up is just another rite of passage!"

broken, chaos, children, frat, frat house, house, humor, living, parenting, sleep, throwing, throwing up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

70 shares on X this month:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Seen just now on Discord:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Spreading quickly via X:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Just landed via Twitch:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Just shared via X:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Live now on Snapchat:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Making waves on Telegram:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Alexa, mute my children.

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