Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

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If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

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The void screams into me.

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I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

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I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

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“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

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I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

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I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

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My wife is napping quietly and the villain of this story is about to be this sneeze.

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

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In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.