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Commentary:
"Who knew that Icarus wasn't just grappling with the sun, but also battling those spicy hot wings? 🔥🍗 Looks like wings aren't just dangerous for chickens! 😂"

death, dude, food, hot, hot wing, humor, Icarus, irony, joke, killed, people, wing, wings

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

3 months ago

girl, humor, i, love, relationship, single, surprise, today, wake, wake up
The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

3 weeks ago

friend, grand, grand scheme, homie, humor, just, manipulation, pawn, scheme, strategy
In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

3 months ago

20s, 40s, age, big, deal, eating, health, healthy, humor, lifestyle, oh, realization
I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

2 months ago

character, empathy, Futurama, humor, i, mean, sad, show, TV, TV Show, whenever, Zoidberg
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

3 months ago

age, bonk, Christmas, empty, fun, gift, head, holiday, humor, old, over, playful, someone, still, thing, tradition, tube, wrapping, wrapping tube
I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

5 hours ago

achievement, activity, brag, day, fun, fun activity, humor, i, mean, put, puzzle, self-deprecation, together, year’s

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

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Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Going bananas on Threads:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Live now on Facebook:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Just landed via Facebook:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Trending via Snapchat:

I hate being a wage slave. I want to be a streamer that does nothing but react to videos all day, and then complain about how hard my life is.

Just shared via Instagram:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

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Activity Log ✨

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

The homie who’s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

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