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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

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Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

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Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Commentary:
"Who knew that Icarus wasn't just grappling with the sun, but also battling those spicy hot wings? ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ— Looks like wings aren't just dangerous for chickens! ๐Ÿ˜‚"



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Iโ€™m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡พ has shared:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ has viewed:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has downloaded:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

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