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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Donโ€™t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasnโ€™tโ€”thatโ€™s what happened.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

A foghorn but for people who canโ€™t see through their own bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Trending via Twitch:

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course itโ€™s important to have self-belief.

Just shared via Instagram:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I donโ€™t like that.

Making waves on Facebook:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Breaking via Telegram:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Making waves on WeChat:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Trending via WeChat:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, whatโ€™s your flex?

Just shared via Threads:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.
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Commentary:
"Who knew that Icarus wasn't just grappling with the sun, but also battling those spicy hot wings? ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ— Looks like wings aren't just dangerous for chickens! ๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

785 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,947

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,947

Updated

19 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

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Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didnโ€™t want to be there the first time.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

You canโ€™t scare me; youโ€™re not my credit card bill.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if itโ€™s a good laundry day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has shared:

Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor wonโ€™t know which liver to attack.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Telegram:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Just shared via X:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Breaking via Reddit:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Just shared via Slack:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Broadcasted on X:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Trending via Twitch:

I donโ€™t call them exes, I call them whys.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Just landed via Slack:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Just landed via Threads:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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